chapter 3 -- St. Valentines Day Massacre -- Woodstock Style

chapter 3 -- St. Valentines Day Massacre -- Woodstock Style

Valentine’s Day is a day that some (usually the attached and female among us) look forward to. To the rest of us, It’s just another day all be it one surrounded by hearts and chocolates, just to remind us that we are lonely and single and no one wants us.

OK not really, but Valentine’s day was a little depressing for some of us, so we decided to do what we always do when something depresses us, We drank. So, at my apartment, gathered Devon (who was attached, but the girlfriend was out of town, more on that later), Lil’ Dave, Lance, Erin (forever known as Big-E, or Biggie. The only female in the group) and myself, most of us dedicated to the ideal of intoxication, and the bashing of the opposite sex. The best part was whenever Biggie said anything; all the guys could do was agree.

Later on in the evening, Lance, who had disappointed us all by not drinking, mentions that there is a party at Anthony’s. A guy that hangs around a bit with us, he played a little bit for the college basketball team, even though, none of us had no idea what he took, He was a nice guy and fun to party with. All of a sudden, Lance’s not drinking looks like a godsend, as he’s the only one with a car. We all pile in, and head up to the party house.

By this point, I was just a bit past the point of buzz, and in to the “Look at all the pretty lights” phase. Arriving at Anthony’s place, looking around, it was a nice place. But a bit up a hill, and as the donut story shows, drunken college students and hills don’t mix. But we make it up with little trouble.

The house is full with people, some we know. RedDawg Wells and Dwayne, along with John, filled out the group contingent. Also there were a lot of young ladies around. I remember saying to Dave; “No Good can come of this”

We come in the front door, and introduce ourselves to Anthony’s parents, grab a drink and head downstairs. That’s when I really know that no good was going to come from this.

She was standing holding the wall up. I tap Dave on the shoulder, and say I’ll see you later, and Dave, who by this point has seen me when I’m drinking, is thinking I’ll see you in a few. He did, but not the way he was thinking.

I go over and say hello and we start to talk and, It was going well, I thought. Let me put a disclaimer on this. I don’t remember her name, or really anything about the conversation. What I do remember, is after talking for a few minutes, she grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to the living room.

We get there, in front of the picture window. I begin to say something, but never get a word out, as she plants one right on the lips, and I think, “Well, what the hell” and continue with what she started.

I don’t know how long we were like that, but it’s funny what you remember. As I was there, locked lips with this young lady, all I can hear, clear as a bell is Dave’s voice saying, “Where’d Chris Go?” followed by a pause and then “Is that…can’t be…OH MY GOD!!” Sure enough the boys came around and we were surrounded. “When you coming up for air?” and those comments come flying. Finally, the embrace ends and she leaves the room, looking rather pleased with herself.

This is the part of the story that I reveal that we’d been at the party for about 5 minutes

Come to find out later on, that she’d had a fight with her boyfriend and he said that she’d never find anyone else that would have her. So the first guy that came along, happened to be me. No gory details, cause, there ain’t none  Oh well, once again, couldn’t score when they pull the goalie.

You’d think that would be enough for one night, oh no. It was just getting started. After my little episode, I decided to sit down and have a few more drinks, as it had sobered me up a lot. It’s something that happens to me; I can go from very drunk to sober in a hurry if something is going down. Talking to some of the amassed crew, some I knew, some I didn’t. I realized that I hadn’t seen Dave and Devon for a while. Wondering what was going on I decided to take a walk around. I look in a corner, and there they are, and it looks like Devon’s getting a raking. Turns out that Devon who had a girlfriend, who was a very good friend of ours, was “macking” on some chick at the party, and Dave and I, after I got the story were making it clear that was not a good idea. It almost got physical, as Devon had this habit of thinking he was Superman when he was drinking. But after a bit of discussion. It was settled and Devon was safe for another night, but in hindsight, we probably should have nailed him when we got the chance.

Is that enough for one night? What book have you been reading? Later on in the evening, it comes to our attention that the host of the party, Anthony, has fallen down a flight of stairs and has broken his elbow, as it turned out. So he goes to the hospital, right? One problem, it’s not bad enough for an ambulance and no one, including Anthony’s parents can drive, except for our driver that night, Lance, who made a trip in to town in Gumby as a drunk taxi and an ambulance that night.

In the end, everyone survived, the evening. But we were never invited back to Anthony’s place. I wonder why that was?